ਕੁੜਮ ਜੀKudamjiCo-Father-in-law
Kudamji (ਕੁੜਮ ਜੀ) is your co-father-in-law — the father of your child's spouse. If your daughter or son marries, their spouse's father becomes your kudam, a relationship English has no word for at all.
How your Kudamji connects to you
Who is your Kudamji?
Punjabi treats a marriage as the joining of two families, not just two people, so the parents on each side need a name for one another. The kudam relationship — kudamachari — is built on studied mutual respect: neither man is senior, both gave a child to the same new household, and the peace between them shelters the young couple. At the wedding this is enacted in the milni ceremony, where the two kudams are formally introduced, exchange garlands and gifts, and embrace before the gathered families.
How it's used
Each father calls the other kudam, or Kudam ji face to face; the plural kudam also covers the in-law family collectively. Example: "ਮਿਲਣੀ ਵੇਲੇ ਦੋਵੇਂ ਕੁੜਮ ਗਲਵੱਕੜੀ ਪਾ ਕੇ ਮਿਲੇ" (Milni vele dovein kudam galvakkdi paa ke mile) — "At the milni ceremony the two co-fathers-in-law met with an embrace."
Where Kudamji comes from
Kuram/kudam is what the two families joined by a marriage call each other, from the Sanskrit kuṭumba, 'household'.
Kudamji vs similar terms
Do not confuse kudam with sahura: your sahura is your own spouse's father, while your kudam is your child's spouse's father. You inherit a sahura when you marry; you gain a kudam when your child does. His wife, your co-mother-in-law, is the kudamani.
Frequently asked questions
What does Kudamji mean in Punjabi?
Kudamji (ਕੁੜਮ ਜੀ) means your co-father-in-law — the father of your son's wife or your daughter's husband. The two fathers are formally introduced at the wedding milni ceremony, where they exchange garlands and gifts.
What is the difference between Kudam and Sahura?
A sahura is your own father-in-law, the father of your spouse. A kudam is your co-father-in-law, the father of your child's spouse. The relationships arise from different marriages: yours creates a sahura, your child's creates a kudam.
Related terms
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